John Baldessari and I Nearly Die
What A Concept!
Back in the 80’s and early 90’s, John Baldessari and I were best buds. John loved to socialize so I would get regular calls “Hey do you wanna go to an opening?” I never declined.
This particular time, we arrived at a gallery and there was a large empty space with a chair in the middle of the room. We heard chattering coming from the basement and made our way downstairs. John went to get us drinks as I scoped out the crowd. When he returned I asked him where the show was. “That chair was it.” I nearly spit out my orange juice. “That chair is the Show!??” I asked incredulously. John chuckled and said “yes”. I did an eye roll. “Well someone better keep their day job.” I like to think that John kept me around for my erudite, insightful critiques.
One day he invited me to see a show in Santa Barbara. “Road trip!” I answered and off we went. We stopped off for lunch at the pier then headed for the show. As we left the parking lot and approached the pay window, the car refused to slow down. John turned to me as his foot kept pumping the brakes. “I can't stop the car!!” He was driving a new high end SUV with all the new computerized gadgets and gizmos and something had gone terribly wrong. If I had been thinking I would have shouted out “the handbrake!” but all thinking flew out the window as the car sped up, hit the wooden parking lot bar and sent it flying. John kept pumping the brakes but to no avail.
The car continued to accelerate as we looked ahead and saw…Death. We were headed for an intersection that had lights. The lights facing us were red which meant people were crossing the street in front of us as well as the traffic going back and forth. If we weren't able to stop the car we would be heading into the people and the oncoming traffic. John laid down on the horn and kept beeping it as people looked up and started scattering. He suddenly hit two people one of whom bounced up on the windshield in front of me and slid off.
I'm going to interrupt this story to talk a little bit about death. Whether it happens quickly or slowly there's a moment where any pretense you had about having any kind of control in your life flies out the window. You accept the fact that you have lost all control and something much bigger than you is taking over and dragging you to an abyss and there's nothing you can do about it. I was sitting in the passenger seat and had no control over any of it. I was just a hapless witness. Try as he might John had lost all control of the car. Death was about to make a big score.
But somehow something, somewhere said “Not today” and the miracles started occurring.
As we hit the two people, the light miraculously turned green which meant the traffic had stopped and we could fly into the intersection. As John made a left hand turn, he suddenly got control of the brakes and pulled the car to a stop. We got out of the car and immediately started running back to the crowd gathered around the two people lying on the ground and…conscious. We hadn’t killed anyone. We could hear the ambulance in the distance. I immediately started telling the crowd that we had lost control of the car and the brakes had refused to work. The police arrived and gave John a breathalyzer ruling out that he was intoxicated. John did like to drink but I didn't and so he had only one glass of wine early in the lunch. The car had really malfunctioned. The ambulance took the two people who had been hit and later we would discover that besides a few bruises there were no broken bones and no serious damage. And another miracle? They didn't sue him.
Tom's Hand Grips The Steering Wheel…, 2015. © John Baldessari
After the crowd, the ambulance and the police dispersed, John and I were both in shock and I insisted that we go for a long walk on the beach to calm the energy down before we continued to the gallery. To this day when I sit in the passenger side of a car, my hand will grip the side rest and my foot will automatically try to hit imaginary brakes if I think the car is not going to stop in time. But this fantasy covers up the reality…when death makes a play only a miracle can keep it at bay.
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